Swing...

Hello, I am a swing, and my name is Jeffery. I believe that I have the worst life of any inanimate object in the whole, entire world. I mean I have spent my whole life, chained and hung from a stupid, old, rusty bar next to a stupid slide that thinks hes cooler than me. While I stay here, just swinging in the wind, I wait for all of these kids to come by and lay their dang butts on my face. It's horrible....HORRIBLE!! And sometimes the kids stay on me all day. But I do enjoy, however, the fact that whenever a strong breeze comes out I swing in my own rhythm, and seem just, calm. But whenever I am not being swung on by a kid, there is a bird taking a crap on me! it's a horrible life.